The Best Of Manglish

Even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric, which is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9and 10.

Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 1. This is what he came up with.....


1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man
rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell
6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven
and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took
a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.


10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left
7-eleven.
Next day I called my
boss and told him I was 6.
He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He
also asked me to go climb a 3
and jump down. I don't understand. I am so nice 2
him but I don't know what he 1.

What Is The Time?

It seems like the Italians have a unique way of checking the time! Enjoy~

Why You Should Visit Malaysia

Well-maintained public facilities

No need for CCTV

Friendly neighbours

Can spit, as long as you do it quietly

Can steal electricity

Comfortable seats everywhere

Garbage collected regularly

Fruits hanging from signboards

Pondok polis at every corner

Very specific instructions on toilet signs

=)

Quality Candidates- Not Easy To Find

I was recently asked to call up candidates for a job interview and so I did. But the attitude of these candidates was so shocking. It was as if they were not really bothered to find a job or they felt we should be begging them to attend and roll out the red carpets for them.

Here’s an idea of how these fresh grads responded to a call for interview.
I call each and every one of them, tell them about the position, confirm the date and time and it was all settled. They all said OKAY *thumbs up* for everything and I told them to reply the email I would be sending them to confirm if they were attending.

Out of seven of them, only 2 replied the email to say they would be coming. I call up the other five a few days later to ask if they will be coming.

One says she is going back to her hometown for an emergency.
One says he has got another job offer
Two say they are coming but want to change the date/time
One just doesn’t answer the call.

Not even one of these five people took the initiative to call and inform us that they wouldn’t be coming or had a problem with the date. After rescheduling those who had issues with the dates, it was fixed that four of them would be attending the interview.

I sent them a map with the email. Yet two out of four of them came at least half an hour late. One didn’t turn up at all.

God bless the companies that hire these people in the future.




P.S.- But sometimes even if you do everything right, u can get stuck with a crazy interviewer.. Watch this =D

Job Interview (Funny) - Click here for funny video clips

Have you seen any of these signs?

Octopus No Brain Also Can Predict!

Fancy having a psychic octopus as a pet? Imagine that...;)

The Facebook Curse

Has Facebook been messing up your life? Are you so addicted that you can’t live a day without poking someone or commenting on anyone’s status. Do you stalk stranger’s profiles to find out stuff about them? Do have fights or arguments with your BF/GF or loved ones because of something you did (or didn’t do) on Facebook?

The social networking site has become such a huge part of many people’s lives. Some of us can spend the entire day on Facebook browsing profiles and sending weird gifts/drinks/pillows or all sorts of things to people on our friend’s list instead of actually getting out of the house and spending time with real people.

Whatever you do and however much time you spend on Facebook, just make sure you adjust your privacy settings so that all your information is not visible to “Everyone”. It’s best to set it to “Friends Only” so that your friend’s friend who happens to be a stalker won’t be able to see all the beautiful photos of yourself you posted on your profile.

And for Gods sakes… don’t put your phone number, home address, office address etc. on your Facebook profile. Unless, of course, you WANT to be stalked.

Here are some of the effects of being on Facebook

1. Your parents, uncles, aunties, grandma, grandpa, postman and postman’s sister send you friend requests and you feel forced to accept it because they might get offended it you don’t.

2. Strange people who you hardly know are throwing pillows at you and sending you drinks

3. Someone tags you and 20 other people in a photo and you receive 52 notifications about who “commented” or “liked” it

4. You “like” your friend’s status and you continue to receive notifications for the next two days just because of that single click of a mouse

5. Join a Group on Facebook and the next day your homepage or inbox is flooded with updates from the group

6. Your uncle gets offended because you didn’t comment on his photo album/note/status or reply to his message on Facebook chat

...you get the idea...

watch this!

Got the Monday blues?

Why is it always so hard to wake up on Monday? Logically it should be easiest day to wake up after having two days of rest at home. We should be fresh and ready to face another 5 days of work.
But sadly it doesn’t work that way for most of us.
Monday is worst day of the week for many because we realize that there are five whole days more before we get our beloved weekend again. So we face Monday with a long face and Tuesday with a huge SIGH!
Wednesday we start to get into the working routine once again manage to be a little productive at work.
When Thursday comes we’re excited… because tomorrow is Friday!
We’re too distracted to do any work on Friday because we’re busy making plans for the weekend and just watch the clock till it’s time to leave the office.

So that’s one whole week of hard work. Happy Monday everyone!

Top Excuses For Falling Asleep At Your Desk At Work

You're at the office, after a heavy lunch. You're staring at the computer screen but everything is starting to look a little blurry. You drink some water but it doesn't help. A ten-minute nap right now would be great.................
You are suddenly awakened by the sound of your boss' voice. He's looking at you.. and you need to say something.. FAST!


For those who can't think quick enough, here are some suggestions:

"This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"

"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"

"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"

"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress....Are you discriminating against people who practice yoga?"

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."

"Amen"


=)

Beautiful Wives, Perfect Marriages… Yet Why Do Men Stray?

Superstar golfer Tiger Woods, ‘Mr.Sandra Bullock’-Jesse James, famous Singaporean movie director Jack Neo, they have all made headlines recently for the same reason. What’s sad about it is that infidelity has become something so common these days. It is almost ‘expected’ especially in celebrity marriages despite how beautiful, kind and loving the wife may be.

Men are always going on and on about how it’s absolutely ‘impossible’ to understand women. Let’s take a moment here to try to understand the male species. How is it that a man who vows to be by a woman he loves ‘till death do us part’ can easily jump into bed with the first other woman who shows interest in him? Then why get married at all?

What makes this so hard to understand is that these men have such gorgeous wives. Yet, they decide to stray. And those ‘other women’ they choose to cheat with are nowhere near as beautiful as their wives. Clearly these men are just looking for some cheap, no-strings-attached sex with any random woman. What they fail to realize is, they’re celebrities- and whatever they do appears on Channel E- with some added sugar and spice.

Watch celebrity entertainment news on Channel E and you will be fed with gossip about who’s cheating on who –with who. The ‘other woman’ becomes an instant celebrity, has paparazzi following her everywhere and gives teary interviews about how she is ‘sorry’ for breaking up the marriage or how the affair wasn’t her fault at all. The betrayed wife is forced to go into hiding to prevent the media from scrutinizing her every move and tearing apart her already messed up life while the hero makes a public apology to his fans and says he will do everything he can to save his marriage.

And this is ‘entertainment’ news.

The latest in the string of celebrity cheaters is Jesse James. His gorgeous wife Sandra Bullock recently won Best Actress during the Academy Awards but her victory was marred by the news of James’ infidelity just days after her win. She went into hiding and was understandably a wreck instead of enjoying what should have been the happiest moment of her life. He ruined it for her.

Even the most beautiful women get cheated on by their husbands. How does this make us ordinary looking women feel? Not very secure, I can tell you.

Of course, normal non-celebrity men cheat too. It’s just that they don’t have cameras following them around twenty four-seven to expose their dirty little secrets. So, it is easier for them to sneak around behind their unsuspecting wives and enjoy the time with their mistresses without getting caught with their pants down.

Men, they are like kids in a candy shop; they will grab the candy that is given to them for free, regardless of the consequences. The only difference is, men actually know the consequences of their behavior, yet choose to ignore it. Why say no to free candy, right?

Take Brad Pitt for instance, he cheated on his lovely wife Jennifer Aniston and comfortably landed in the arms of man-eater Angelina Jolie. He didn’t lose anything or even pay for what he had done. Instead the whole world watched as he married Jolie and had an instant family with her while the betrayed wife Aniston remains single till today.

We hear less about infidelity among Indian actors but then, they are less open about their private lives compared to their Western counterparts and maybe the Indian press is less aggressive. I’m sure they have their own dirty secrets but manage to keep them hidden well. Or shall we be naïve enough to assume that they do not cheat and instead have a firm hold on to Indian values, tradition and respect for the institution of marriage? I don’t think so.

I may sound like a man-hater but I’m not. I know well enough that not all men are cheaters and that some men truly believe in monogamy and the sanctity of marriage. But one can’t help but feel frustrated reading, watching and hearing about all these men who cheat and get away with it. At least if the celebrity wife is smart enough to sign a pre-nup, she could walk away with half his financial assets. Of course hundreds of thousands of dollars can’t completely take away the grief of betrayal, but it definitely could help ease the pain.

Aruna ~CineFashion June 2010~