Nothing More Important Than The World Cup

A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final.

As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.

"No," he says. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"

"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married.

"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at her funeral..."

Malaysian Break Up Letter

Old Is Gold

A farmer rears 25 young hens and 1 old cock. As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer bought one young cock from the market.

Old cock: Welcome to join me, we will work together towards productivity.

Young cock: What do you mean? As far as I know, you are old and should retire.

Old cock: Young boy, there are twenty-five hens here, can't I help you with some?


Young cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.

Old cock: In this case, I shall challenge you to a competition and if I win, you shall allow me to have one hen and if I lose you will have all.

Young cock: Ok! What kind of competition?

Old cock: 50 meter runs, from here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 meters...

Young cock: No problem! We will compete tomorrow morning.

Confidently, the following morning, the Young cock allows the Old cock to start off and when the Old cock crosses the 10 meters mark, the Young cock chases him with all his might.

Soon enough, he was behind the Old cock back in a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, Bang! ..... Before he could overtake the Old cock, he was shot dead by the farmer, who cursed, "F#$%king hell! This is the fifth GAY chicken I've bought this week!"


Moral of the story: Never under-estimate an old cock

Listen To Your Doctor

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

Family Photo

Are family photos usually this confusing?

Familyphoto

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Create your own parking spot

Here's what a girl does whenever she can't find a proper parking spot.. she creates her own!

American Geniuses

World Cup Fever

Sandra Bullock-You Rock!

Sandra Bullock made her second appearance in as many days to pick up the Generation Award at the MTV Movie Awards, and spoke about the recent drama she's been through (the one where her jackass of a husband cheated on her).

Oh yeah.. and she kisses Scarlett Johannson on the lips too.

Watch the 2010 MTV Movie Awards at MTV.com!

Free One Night Stand When You Buy Furniture

A FURNITURE shop in Singapore offered a free one-night stand to its customers, reported Nanyang Siang Pau.

It placed an advertisement reading “Free One Night Stand” and next to the eye-catching words was a picture showing a man and a woman in an intimate position.

In the picture, the naked man was hugging a woman from behind and kissing her neck.

A reader who came across the advertisement thought he had something novel, but when he read further, the reader released it was just a gimmick.

The furniture shop was actually offering a night stand for free to those who bought certain items.